Tag: COVID-19

President Slip’s Covid 19 Response: Guidelines to Trick Screening

President Donald J. Trump might be acting like the  COVID-19 pandemic is just fake news, but President SlipperyWhenSex is taking his role in stopping the spread of the corona virus very seriously.   In doing so,  he has  released his personal 5 step check point that anyone (especially tricks) are required to complete before they can meet with him in his home.  He suggests you use these guidelines too.

Step 1: Body Temperature & Visual accessment 

Upon arrival, visitors should be accessed to ensure they have shown up wearing a face covering; their body temperature should be checked (using a no contact forehead thermometer)  and if they arent fugly; then

Step 2:  Smell Test

Visitors should  come to the apartment door where they will have their sense of smell measured (by getting sprayed with god awful cologne that would make the dead cringe). If they cringe; then 

Step 3:  Removal of potential contaminated items

Visitors should remove everything they are wearing without offending the neighbors (wearing underwear and a face covering at most) prior to entering the apartment. Once inside, they should then remove everything else sealing all non-essential items in provided plastic bags. If they still look good once they are naked; then

Step 4: Essential item decontamination

Visitors should place anything they might need during their stay (such as cell phones, wallet, poppers, lube, cockrings, etc) into a uv bag to be decontaminated; then 

Step 5:  Full Body Srub Down

Vistors should shower using provided anti-bacterial soaps and conditioners for at least 15 minutes in extremely warm water making sure to cover all parts from head-to-toe with extra attention on any part that is expected to be sucked, kissed or eaten.

Anyone who makes it through all five check points will be welcomed into bed with the President. (SlipperyWhenSex, not Donald J. Trump. )

President Slip encourages you to use these guidelines to set up your own trick intake process condusive to your living situation and begin using them immediately.  “Any visitor who refuses to participate is likely COVID+, therefore you don’t want to fuck with them anyway,” said President Slip.

Editors note:  He seriously puts people through this too…. this is no joke.